journal entree, May 13th, 2013:
"Happy Mother's Day!! Yesterday! i have some exciting news that i've been BURSTING to tell someone! we're gonna have a BABY!! Whaaaaat?! can you believe it? we are so excited. we have been wanting this for a while-but we were just waiting to have steady jobs with insurance :) we can't wait to meet our little poppyseed! we thought we might find out on Mother's Day-but we had 1 positive test, and 2 negative? so odd. today we got 2 positive.
I was having a hard time yesterday, especially about living here in Florida. I get lonely. Gma Sheri is back home on her death bed and we will never be able to see her again in this life...we had bad car troubles this week and had to figure things out ourselves. i've just been feeling a lack of connetion with people. i got to work and work with some nice girls but mostly not. i don't want to waste my time trying to be friends with them. i call my mom/sister almost everyday because it's good to feel a good connection with someone who knows and cares for you. and sometimes i feel that i demand too much quality time out of Addison. i bet he's exhausted. i feel a little purpose-less here...but i poured my soul out to Addison-unleashing feelings i didn't even know i had-while bawling the whole time. (i should've known i was pregnant then!) and Addison offered me a Priesthood blessing-such a sweet and righteous husband! i sure do love him. the blessing was just what i needed to hear and feel assurance that the Lord knew my struggles and that He cares and is there for me to pour out my heart to anytime. He will fulfill my quality time needs :) i felt so comforted and loved. then this morning I decided to take one more pregnancy test and it was positive-i knelt down immediately, thanking Heavenly Father for this opportunity to raise one of his beautiful children. i quietly rubbed Addi on the shoulder and whispered, "you're gonna be a Daddy." we rejoiced together!
I spent the next couple of hours looking up information on pregnancy and trying to figure out a due date :) i'm so excited.
I now feel a sense of righteous purpose here. i can go to work every day knowing that i am saving up to have a baby and give it the best care i can. i know out here we can have full time jobs in a career that is beneficial for our profession. we can have health insurance! we are here so that we can give our baby a great start. also, so that they'll know how cool we once were because we worked for Disney.
I couldn't stop smiling all day. we went to blizzard beach. I watched Addison go off the huge drop slide. i waited patiently at the bottom, knowing i had precious cargo! oh, the sacrifices i'm already making! haha! it's going to be very hard for me not to tell my mom and sister. we did, however, tell Gma Sheri this morning. she could go and any time-she hasn't eaten or had anything to drink in 20 days. cancer is taking over. we told her that she may meet this little pumkin before we do and that she needs to do her best to teach it everything to be just like her.
we are so beyond thrilled! this is going to be our biggest adventure yet!