I can't believe I just finished the first week of my last semester in school. (and yes brother, Landon, I do mean all schooling) I've been writing this year, 2012, on "expected date of graduation" for years, not actually knowing if I could do it in 4 years flat. But here I am, totally ready and so beyond excited to graduate. College has been really good to me. I started out knowing exactly what major I wanted, and stuck with it-I'm beginning to know how rare that actually is. As for knowing that I would was supposed to attend Weber State University, well the Lord threw me for a loop on that one! But, of course, he knew it was the perfect fit, and that ultimately how else would Addison and I have found each other? Ahhhh I am so so grateful to Weber for everything, it really has been ideal for me, and invaluable as an actor.
College was SUCH a liberating experience for me. I remember getting to BYU-Hawaii and realizing that I didn't ever really like the things I said I liked in high school just to please everybody else. I didn't like to wear all the things the Park City girls wore. I, in fact, did not enjoy skiing at all. I didn't like rap or hip-hop like all my high school friends. I started finding myself pretty quickly when I realized I didn't have to strive for anything that I didn't want to, and that just by doing the things I liked to do, I fell into the perfect set of friends for me. It was awesome! And I've continued to strive for that ever since, especially in choosing my eternal partner. I remember thinking about a year before Addison and I started dating that I just wasn't ready to date Addison yet, although I wanted to! I hadn't completely discovered myself in order to fall into the perfect relationship. I knew, for some reason, that if I started dating Addison, something would have to go horribly wrong for us not to be compatible together and be something that would last a long time...(I'm not quite sure if I knew "forever" at the time I had that impression ;)
I know that people give out a lot of flack on the phrase "finding yourself"-like what is that? I used to think this was bogus as well, like "how do you not know who you are?"...but looking back, (and in the most simple way I can think of to put it) there really was a process of eliminating from my life everything I discovered didn't make me feel good, and striving for all the things that did make me feel good. Ha! And I talk about it as if I'm already done...yeah, right. This is a constant process, that was enhanced by getting out of the mainstream that is high school and making my own decisions in college.
And whilst I am very nervous and anxious for the uncertain future ahead for two actors, I am beyond excited. So don't bother to ask what our plans are for after April the 20th, 2012, because I assure you, we know least of all. The only thing in our future that I can tell you is certain is that we're gonna struggle. We're just two people in love trying to "find our way in the world".
(which is like "finding yourself", but for two people ;)